What's Happening to our Boys?

What's Happening to our Boys? by Maggie Hamilton.

This is the companion volume to What's Happening to our Girls? which I reviewed here.

Similarly to Girls, Boys looks at how different the world is for today's boys and what parents can do to build strong, positive relationships with their boys to help guide and support them to become strong, wonderful men. Again, it was both terrifying and reassuring.

The thing that has struck me most about both of these books is how all the tweens and teens she interviewed stated they did a lot of stuff not because they wanted to, but in order to fit in. They don't really want to drink, take drugs, have sex, but it's perceived as what you must do in order to fit in. Now if only they would tell each other that, a lot of problems and pressures could be solved! However, as they are unlikely to be that open with each other, as parents, we need to provide them with the tools and the safety net to do what they want to do and survive the cut throat world of being a kid.

As with girls, Maggie Hamilton stresses the importance of open and honest relationships with our sons. Start talking to them early, and about real, important stuff. Discuss how they are targeted by marketing. Talk about the long term effects of alcohol and drug abuse. Acknowledge they are intelligent beings and saying "just don't do it because I said so" won't cut it. Use the video games and movies they watch to talk about the effect of violence on our society and how it's not an effective way to deal with problems and issues in our lives. Studies found that children who came from families like this were less likely to drink, take drugs or be influenced by peer pressure. We cannot under estimate our importance in our children's lives.

What's happening to our Boys and What's happening to our Girls are two books I recommend all parents read.

Teaser Tuesday

Teaser Tuesday is hosted by MizB over at Should Be Reading

This is how it works

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers.

  This weeks Teaser Tuesday comes from

 What's happening to our boys? by Maggie Hamilton


As I did with the companion volume to this book, What's happening to our girls?, I'm likely to give you a handful of teasers. 


PLEASE BE WARNED, SOME OF THE TEASERS INCLUDED ARE DISTURBING AND MAY BE UPSETTING.


As boys enter their teens their bodies change beyond recognition, and their brains go into partial meltdown, making life exhilarating and bewildering. 

Though illegal, boys who know their way around cyberspace can watch everything from young women being choked with penises tot he detailed, graphic deflowering of young girls. One site encourages boys who find themselves with a drunk girl to grab a video camera and call up their mates so they can all have a good time with her, then post their exploits on the site.

Recent figures indicate that almost 4000 children under 10 in Australia have been prescribed anti-depressants. Over 500 of these kids were under 5. With the number of prescription drugs now taken during the childhood years, it's less of a leap for teenagers to take prescription drugs for recreational purposes.

When you challenge them, you have to do so with support. When you do, you see their confidence and resilience grow, and often you see them step up to something higher.

Does any one else find the second and third of the quotes incredibly disturbing?

I'd love to know what your teaser is this week. Leave me a link!
 

What's Happening to Our Girls?

What's Happening To Our Girls? by Maggie Hamilton

I put this book on hold at the library after I heard Maggie Hamilton on a talk back radio station. She was actually talking about her new book What's Happening to Our Boys? and as the mother of a boy about to hit that "tween" age it piqued my interest. When I looked it up at the library, it wasn't yet in circulation, but Girls was. Now my daughter is only 4, but I figure it's never to young to start. Apparently this is what advertisers think also!

Hamilton's book was in turn terrifying and reassuring. It looks at the pressures on our girls today - how their world is so different from the one even I grew up in and the challenges they face in a media saturated world. From the deliberate targeting of advertisers, to the influence of social networking sites such as FaceBook, the lack of "down time", being available to peers 24/7 through mobile phones, the desire to fit in, be cool, dress right, look right, listen to the right music. And it all starts so much younger than it use to. It also examines the dangers our older girls expose themselves to through binge drinking, drugs, raunchy photos taken on phones or by friends.

The positive thing is we can help our girls identify and navigate these pitfalls. It's all about openness, talking with your child from a young age, keeping the communication channels open and monitoring their use of technology. I have long subscribed to the belief that I am my child's parent first and their friend second. It is my job to protect them as much as possible, either through monitoring their activities or teaching them the skills to handle tough situations. I hope I manage to convey to them that they can always come and tell about things and to know that I will always help.

I did have to through out the book remind myself it was specifically targeted at girls. I'm sure many of the issues raised are also affecting boys. I'm looking forward to reading What's happening to our Boys and seeing what the similarities and differences are. As I said before, I highly recommend this for anyone who is the parent or carer of a girl.